How Do I Know Who I Am?
Are you searching for your identity?
Curiosity is the key to understanding yourself. Asking questions leads to answers which in turn leads to more questions. The more specific the question, the more specific the answer, at least that’s the hope.
The right questions lead to the right answers.
When I set out to to grasp a subject, I assume that whatever provides answers to my questions is of equal value to others. An incorrect assumption? Probably. It is silly to believe that someone else thinks as I do.
When I become the subject of my study then things get difficult.
Don’t you find it is easier to understand the behavior and motivations of others as compared to yourself?
Why do I do the things I do? Some are productive, some aren’t.
The longer I continue down the path I am on the more clear my identity becomes.
It seems I am more focused than ever. As well, I am more forgiving of my shortcomings. Gone are the days of being self critical because of comparing myself to people assumed to be more successful. Brother, that is an unnecessary burden.
How Do I Respond To People?
One of my mentors told me this – Assume everyone around you is secretly an alien that was sent down to Earth to teach you a lesson or send you on a mission. Thank You, James. This is just one more reason why I listen to you.
Everyone around me was put in my life for a reason. Granted, I do not always respond the way I should. Being human, I have quirks, I react irrationally and can be quite judgmental.
Everyone has a lesson to teach, examples to be garnered from and wisdom to share. And, yes, they have intelligence greater than mine in some area of their life.
Learn to listen and pay attention, Bry. The aliens are everywhere.
How Do I impact Others?
There are consequences to our actions. It is unacceptable to ignore negative actions, as well as, continuing to justify them.
My intentions towards others may be based on emotions, personal goals or careless words. Many times I have allowed my selfish interests to predominate a situation. Consequences include alienation of relationships, dismissal of another person’s challenges or out right burning of bridges.
How about helping others? I think most people, when they do someone a favor, put that act on a reciprocation list. The more favors they put out the more they are owed.
Some people always have an agenda; there is an underlying concern that they aren’t going to get theirs unless they take more than they give. Every act of helping another is a debt incurred.
Then there are people who are like stalk of corn; they take one kernel and give back multiple cobs.
We all decide who we want to be.
Am I Spending Time In Someone Else’s Shoes?
I want to better understand others. In order to do that, it is important to spend time pondering their lives and what they have experienced. Thinking about things from someone else’s perspective has allowed me to better relate with them.
Conflicts with friends, family and co-workers are inevitable. By trying to appreciate their mindset, and at times, offering help, allows me to be a more effective communicator. I have found empathy, and the ability to sympathize with someone else, starts with getting into their skin.
Am I Learning From My Life?
Are you looking for original ideas and concepts? Have you considered your life as a source of inspiration? We often look to others and wonder why they are able to be so creative. Perhaps they reach into their life experience.
Many of the artists and writers I know do just that. They follow their intuitions on a daily basis. Each day presents another set of circumstances to draw upon. Each day is unique in and of itself; today is not yesterday, nor is it tomorrow. This moment stands alone and by itself, offering a gift waiting to be opened.
The question left is how much of my day will I commit to the thing I have spent my life looking for.
What Is Truth?
Back to the first question – who are you? Looking at yourself in the mirror really doesn’t help. What I want to see is my conception of who I am. I don’t want to be objective because that can hurt too much.
There all sorts of standards thrown upon us by society, our peers and our institutions. Those standards of measure may not seem fair. Often times they are not.
Am I good looking, rich, creative, healthy or athletic enough? Am I intelligent or spiritual enough? Who set the standard for that?
How are my technical abilities? Am I able to execute accurately? Will my audience respond positively? Who set the standard for those parameters?
If we are trying to develop our own voice in what ever our endeavors might be, what is the standard measure of our abilities? Who are we comparing ourselves to?
We are only going to believe what we want to. We are only going to decide to do what we decide to do. I am not going to be so trite as to state, “Seek your own truth.” The fact of the matter is this – you are going to any way. You don’t need my help or affirmation.
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